I learned a new word today. Ambivalent. I think I've heard it before but never knew what it meant. What it means is: having mixed feelings about someone or something; being unable to choose between two (usually opposing) courses of action. This really describes me at the moment.
I think I'm doing one of those "college student" things where I reconsider my entire future. I thought the lawyer thing was for sure, but now...I'm totally rethinking it. I wanna do something more fun and interesting and special with my life. I feel like the child inside me just woke up from a long nap, crawled into my brain, and scribbled all over the "what you want to do with your future" control panel with crayons. I have so many ideas running though my head; it's crazy. Should I stick to what I had originally planned on doing? I mean, I suppose a lawyer could be fun if I actually make it fun. But how do you just make lawyering fun? It seems like hours upon hours of continuous work that will leave me with no free time. I wish I knew a lawyer that could give me advice on some of this.
But I'm sure it'll pass. After all, college students apparently change their major an average of two times anyway, right?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
life, y u no give me talents?
I feel really dull.
Like...I don't do anything cool. All my friends have some sort of useful/interesting/impressive talent, but I kinda got left out with life was dishing out all the good stuff. Everyone either has a fantastic voice, or they can draw really well, or they are super smart, or something. I wish I could sing or draw or comprehend math (seriously, life, understanding any concept of math would have been great) but I've really got nothing special going on. I'm pretty average. And average is lame. I wanna do something special, or great, or awesome in some way.
You know, I'd really like to be a comedian. More than you know. I love to make people laugh. Telling a joke and seeing someone smile...that's just fantastic. That's probably why I'm spitting out a joke or being sarcastic every five seconds and why I play off of people like Katherine and Becka so well. It's awesome to sit there and joke about random whatever for an hour and just crack up about it, or tell some sort of ridiculously sarcastic story and make people laugh. But alas, "making people laugh" has zero job security. It's one of those things you can't master in in college, and you can't really just go out and try it. To be as big as people like Adam Sandler and Chris Rock takes luck more than anything, and it's not like I have an copious amount of that either. Le sigh. I'm reconsidering the whole lawyer thing. It sounds less exciting the more I hear about it. Sociologist would be fun but I don't really wanna be an underpaid teacher. Or a teacher at all.
Maybe I should do an English major and try to write a book. I'd like to do that, too, but it's another one of those things where you either make it or break it. I plan to write a book some day, but I doubt it'd be my main job plan because of the not having any guarantee of a job or money thing. If only I could sing. I seem to not have a problem with writing songs, but I don't really have the voice for it. Can you take voice lessons to make yourself sound better? I should look into that. And now I'm rambling.
On a random note, I finally found out my screen's resolution today. 1776 x 1000. Yeah, that's big. My friend was impressed. -suggestive wink-
And hmm, I feel slightly better after writing this. Maybe this will be good for me. /satisfied
Like...I don't do anything cool. All my friends have some sort of useful/interesting/impressive talent, but I kinda got left out with life was dishing out all the good stuff. Everyone either has a fantastic voice, or they can draw really well, or they are super smart, or something. I wish I could sing or draw or comprehend math (seriously, life, understanding any concept of math would have been great) but I've really got nothing special going on. I'm pretty average. And average is lame. I wanna do something special, or great, or awesome in some way.
You know, I'd really like to be a comedian. More than you know. I love to make people laugh. Telling a joke and seeing someone smile...that's just fantastic. That's probably why I'm spitting out a joke or being sarcastic every five seconds and why I play off of people like Katherine and Becka so well. It's awesome to sit there and joke about random whatever for an hour and just crack up about it, or tell some sort of ridiculously sarcastic story and make people laugh. But alas, "making people laugh" has zero job security. It's one of those things you can't master in in college, and you can't really just go out and try it. To be as big as people like Adam Sandler and Chris Rock takes luck more than anything, and it's not like I have an copious amount of that either. Le sigh. I'm reconsidering the whole lawyer thing. It sounds less exciting the more I hear about it. Sociologist would be fun but I don't really wanna be an underpaid teacher. Or a teacher at all.
Maybe I should do an English major and try to write a book. I'd like to do that, too, but it's another one of those things where you either make it or break it. I plan to write a book some day, but I doubt it'd be my main job plan because of the not having any guarantee of a job or money thing. If only I could sing. I seem to not have a problem with writing songs, but I don't really have the voice for it. Can you take voice lessons to make yourself sound better? I should look into that. And now I'm rambling.
On a random note, I finally found out my screen's resolution today. 1776 x 1000. Yeah, that's big. My friend was impressed. -suggestive wink-
And hmm, I feel slightly better after writing this. Maybe this will be good for me. /satisfied
Friday, January 27, 2012
necessary introduction.
If you are reading this then you probably already know me, but I'm Jason.
I feel kinda lame for doing this, but I suppose I can muster up some legitimate reasons.
The first would be to improve my writing. I do like to write, but after reading Hannah's blog and realizing that I could seriously improve my descriptive skills, I felt like a blog could help. Even if I am just writing to myself. I'm also really lazy when it comes to writing, and I'm hoping this could help that, too. I've got plans for two very different books plus a ton of random character ideas lurking in my brain, but when it comes to getting them written down I kinda suck at actually doing it.
The second would be to rant. I do that quite often and it's probably better to spew crap here than in public.
The third would be because it seems fun. And that's the most important, right?
Anyway, people are probably wondering wtf phenomental means. It's pronounced fen (as in fence) - oh - mental. Simple. It's a combination of the words phenomenal (which is a word I really like) and mental. I believe everyone has a chance to be phenomenal in their own way, but you've also gotta be slightly crazy. All phenomenal people have been in one way or another. I hope I can one day call myself phenomenal.
If you can't already tell, I feel really tacky doing this. I just feel like such a teenager. But I've convinced myself it will be good for me.
And I think that's it.
I feel kinda lame for doing this, but I suppose I can muster up some legitimate reasons.
The first would be to improve my writing. I do like to write, but after reading Hannah's blog and realizing that I could seriously improve my descriptive skills, I felt like a blog could help. Even if I am just writing to myself. I'm also really lazy when it comes to writing, and I'm hoping this could help that, too. I've got plans for two very different books plus a ton of random character ideas lurking in my brain, but when it comes to getting them written down I kinda suck at actually doing it.
The second would be to rant. I do that quite often and it's probably better to spew crap here than in public.
The third would be because it seems fun. And that's the most important, right?
Anyway, people are probably wondering wtf phenomental means. It's pronounced fen (as in fence) - oh - mental. Simple. It's a combination of the words phenomenal (which is a word I really like) and mental. I believe everyone has a chance to be phenomenal in their own way, but you've also gotta be slightly crazy. All phenomenal people have been in one way or another. I hope I can one day call myself phenomenal.
If you can't already tell, I feel really tacky doing this. I just feel like such a teenager. But I've convinced myself it will be good for me.
And I think that's it.
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